One, Two, Three, Four, I Declare a Thumb War!

I think it's very immature to teach the children of America about the horrors of war and the specifications on its declarations at such a young age.  It takes away their innocence... THINK OF THE CHILDREN!  A better game is ring around the rosy, which teaches children about the plague in Europe and how everyone burned to ashes and fell down dead... THATS NO BETTER!!!!  How about the game where the LONDON BRIDGE FALLS DOWN!!!!!  There must be some good and wholesome children's game... Red Rover! that was a fun game... I used to love clotheslining the shorter kids.  After peek-a-boo it just goes downhill...

THIS BABY WON'T STAND FOR IT!

That baby looks like he's going to grow up to be Darth Vader.  The following quotes are possible things this baby is thinking:

"My laser vision isn't working!"

"When this tooth comes in, I'm gonna bite you so hard!"

"That was a wild night in Vegas!"

"Turn that light off, I'm so hung over!"

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
-J

Deformaties

This guy...

must live a really hard life!  He can't do things like drive or text on his cellphone!  He can't give you a high five without breaking your arm!  Shampooing his hair is so rough that he is now bald!  When he claps, the sonic booms result in buildings crashing down to earth.  When he thumb wrestles, the thumb wrestles your whole body.  It's very hard for him to manipulate toilet paper as you could imagine.  He uses sleeping bags as mittens when it gets cold.

He has a smile on his face, your life isn't so bad.

-J

Hot off the girl!

You heard it here first, this blog is hot off the girl!  "What does that mean?" you might ask yourself.  Maybe you won't, maybe you just don't care, maybe you don't read this blog... LINDSAY!  This post is for all of my non-readers.  Here are some reasons you should read my blog: It's not translated from a different language, it's not proven that it causes high blood pressure... yet, and it hasn't been convicted of any felonies.  Also banjo's are annoying.
Sorry this was a short post, I got bored and I'm sure you did too!

DONKEY!

CLICK THE ADD! (if it's down there)
   |||
   |||                  -J
   V

Why can't I find any interesting blogs to read?

I don't know if you've noticed, but at the top of the page there is a button, it looks like this Next Blog>> and it provide hours of disappointment.  If your experience with the next blog button is anything like mine, you began by looking at 50 religious blogs that I am completely uninterested in.  Then you'll be taken to 50 more pages of newly weds and parents of toddlers.  If you've made it this far, blogger realizes that it has not shown you anything you actually want to read because you only stay on each page for enough time to read the title.  Blogger's solution to your boredom is to ONLY show you pages in traditional Chinese which Google gladly translates for you into English so broken, it makes Gary Busey look like... well a functional member of society.

Here is a list of words that no longer sound like words if you repeat them over and over again.

• Here
• is
• a
• list
• of
• words
• that
• no
• longer
• sounds
• like
• if
• you
• repeat
• them
• over
• and
• again

Yeah, I went there.

Super Mario 64 is the best game of all time (for nintendo 64).  It's so addictive and I want to all those stupid shiny stars!  I have 112/120 stars and I've been using all my free time this weekend to get those last 8!

Onto something more interesting... Lay's Barbecue chips are the best Lay's chips on the market.  Pringles are overrated (unless they want to give me a job), and Tostitos not get the credit they deserve.  In addition, DO NOT CONFUSE TOSTITOS AND TOTINOS, one of them is a brand of chips, and the other a brand of pizza rolls! VERY DIFFERENT!

In conclusion, the moon landing was real, the earth is round, and dinosaurs existed (and were cool)!

-J